One year I had a fourth grader, Jessica, who was noticeably upset the day before our Valentine’s exchange. (I change the names of students in posts for privacy reasons.) When I was able to talk to her privately, Jessica told me she was worried about our exchange. This stopped me in my tracks.
When I was in elementary school, I always looked forward to any holiday party. I vividly remember my dad taking me to the grocery store the night before my fourth grade Christmas part to buy materials to make an ornament. My family still has that ornament. So I couldn’t imagine why Jessica was so worried about what was intended to be a fun time.
She was reluctant at first to tell me what was bothering her. Then I thought about the next day and asked how she felt about our Valentine’s exchange. Her eyes shot down to the ground to avoid making eye contact with me. That’s when I knew what was bothering her.
Jessica was a sweet kid. She had some challenges in life, but still seemed excited to be in class every day until that point in the year. Her parents were not together, and I knew from conversations with dad, that money was tight at the house. On top of this, dad worked multiple jobs to make ends meet.
This was something new to me. I was fortunate to grow up in a middle class house. There was never a time when I didn’t have what I needed for school or a social event in the classroom. It was something I took for granted, even into my adult life. Jessica taught me an important lesson that day. Not all students grow up in the same world and with the same opportunities. Yes, I’d read about this and listened to lectures about it, but having a child dealing with it directly in front of me made it real.
Jessica loved art and showed an interest in crafts, so I decided to use that to our advantage. At recess that day I told her she could invite a friend into our classroom to make Valentines’ cards out of construction paper, markers, tissue paper, and other items we had in the classroom. She created some amazing cards.
The next day in class, as all the students were getting their Valentine’s cards out of their backpacks, Jessica pulled out her handmade cards. She walked around very proud of the cards she made, and she should have been proud of them. They were really well done. At dismissal that day, she walked out of our classroom with an enormous smile on her face. Quite a difference in the last 24 hours.
I think about Jessica whenever we have a classroom party, students are dressing up for a school-wide spirit day, or have to complete an assignment at home. Not all students have the same opportunities. This can create a great deal of stress and anxiety. School should be an environment where students feel comfortable but still have fun.
Today we had our Valentine’s Day exchange in my classroom. I checked with all my students to make sure they had something to distribute. This is supposed to be a fun activity, but one outstanding child taught me that we have to think about all the students and what they can and cannot provide. We have to make sure that we are creating a safe environment for all of our students. We need to make sure that economics or a parent’s schedule does not prevent a student from participating in activities and loving school. Thank you, Jessica, for teaching me this valuable lesson.