“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”
Abraham Lincoln
This quote always makes me think of how looking at something from a different perspective can help us see the positives in almost anything. (There’s some debate as to whether Honest Abe really said it, but it’s still a good quote.) Recently I was talking to a colleague about fostering positivity in our work, personal lives, and relationships. She shared The No Complaining Rule by John Gordon with me and said it had some great ideas about being more positive. She was right.
There are many wonderful ideas in this book, but one that stuck out to me was the No Complaining Card. The card has three strategies to create more positivity in your life.
- The But –> ____ Positive Technique
- Focus on “Get To” instead of “Have To”
- Turn Complaints into Solutions
I’ve already found myself using some of these strategies in my personal and professional life. Over Christmas Break I had an eight-hour trip in the car. I was able to use the But–> ____ Positive Technique to make the trip more positive. Instead of thinking about the negatives of sitting in the car, I thought, “I don’t like sitting in the car for eight hours but I’m grateful I have all this time to listen to an audio book.”
It has also helped with areas like exercise. Focusing on “Get To” instead of “Have To” is especially helpful for me. There have been times where I said, “I have to go for a run.” Now, I’ve started saying, “I get to go for a run.” This one is especially powerful for me because I wasn’t able to run for three years because of a hip injury. I didn’t get to run for that entire time, so it is powerful and motivating to think that I get to run now.
Turn Complaints into Solutions doesn’t imply that complaining is eliminated entirely. The idea is to eliminate mindless complaining, which doesn’t serve a purpose. Instead, focus on justified complaining which move towards finding solutions to problems. A mindless complaint might be nobody around here understands me. A justified complaint might be I need to find more ways to effectively communicate with my coworkers.
This is not a book written specifically for educators, but the principles certainly apply to educators and the classroom. I reflected on each strategy and how it could be used in education.
- The But –> ____ Positive Technique – I can’t believe I’m getting another student on my roster, but this is an opportunity to impact another student.
- Focus on “Get To” instead of “Have To” – It is easy to say, “I have to cover cafeteria/recess duty.” Instead say, “I get to spend time with students outside of the classroom and continue to build strong relationships in a new setting.”
- Turn Complaints into Solutions – A mindless complaint might be, “These students just don’t get this!” A justified complaint would look more like, “What steps do I need to take to help my students understand this material?”
This isn’t to say these three strategies will make everything magically better, but hopefully they’ll help us see more roses in the thorn bush.